mcleaveyxamplesintervention

"Dear Dad, We don’t talk about it ever, but I love you very much. I know you love me very much, and you are very proud of me. I wouldn’t be where I am, or have what I have, if it weren’t for you. You taught me that I need to learn how to take care of myself before I rely on anyone else to do it for me. You encouraged me and supported me in my career aspirations. This gave me the confidence I needed to accept job positions that took me throughout the Midwest on my own. When I went through my major heartbreak with Tom, you were the one whose shoulder I cried on. You were the one I trusted. You helped me get through it. Dad, your alcoholism has been a part of our lives for a very long time. We didn’t get here overnight. It is running your life. When I call home to check in, if it is too late in the evening, you’re drunk. You get on the phone and your speech is slurred. When we talk later in the week you don’t even remember our conversations. Sometimes you’re passed out, and we don’t get to talk at all. When I come to visit you, and I’m on my way out to walk the dog, if you’re in the garage I’ll try to wait a little while because I don’t want to catch you secretly pouring a drink. I do this to save you embarrassment. Or else I try to make a lot of noise in the laundry room so you know I’m coming, and you can hide the alcohol. If I show up at your house late in the evening, you’re drunk. I see it in your eyes, hear it in your speech and watch you move back and forth from the kitchen cupboard to the couch, with an occasional trip to the garage to drink from your hidden supply. I love you, and I don’t like seeing alcoholism sucking the life out of you. We’re all here together because we want you to accept help. We’re here to help. Will you accept our help today? > Love, > Your daughter, Tina" > Dear ________________, > I have known you now for under five years and over that time there have > been quite a few changes.At first sight, you demonstrated strong leadership qualities accompanied by > an engaging personality.For instance, because of your contributions in the ____________ class, so > many people told me about your remarkable leadership ability. That class > was your shining moment. In addition, your charismatic personality draws > people to you trusting that you sincerely care. However, both the leadership > and the charm are being used for worse and not for better.Although there have been a number of negative interactions between us lately, > the final episode came when ____________________________________. It was good that we were finally able to discuss the incident, and also your > experiences with pornography, drug use, and other boundary related issues > like ___________________________________________. Unfortunately > however, you demonstrated no guilt, only excuses. When a mere apology > was requested, none came.It now seems that your preoccupation with self-gratification is leading you > down a one-way street fast. Your appearance has changed remarkably just > in the past few months. The bold, inappropriate behaviors have escalated.I am deeply concerned. > You might be wondering why I would take the time this morning to be here > in this group. I have nothing to gain by doing this...except hope that you > might face the truth, turn around, and make your life count for something > good. This could be the first step in getting the real ________________ back.I urge you to make the most of your time with your dad on a wilderness > experience in _________________. Cooperate. Look forward to the > peace of mind this could bring you and the new direction unfolding. > Dear ___________ > I love you and that is the reason that we are having this meeting this morning. > Ever since you were born, you were a kid who talked non-stop and had energy > to burn…in fact, you would often fall asleep talking.The years have gone by and we moved from Newberg, Oregon to Yakima, > Washington. The years have changed us all and nothing will ever change the > fact that I love you, your energy, creativity, personableness and being our son.The reason I am writing this letter is that over the past year and even 2 years, > things have begun to change. I could say that it is because you are moving > into your teens, but there are things that are occurring that makes you my > son…but at times someone I do not know. It doesn’t mean that I don’t love > you…I mean that your choices are seeming to not be based in reality and > that is what concerns me.So what has changed? I might say that the biggest change was changing > schools to accommodate your last years of being in the public schools, > but even that is not of concern.So what is of concern to me? > * Deciding to leave the house and coming in when you want. > * Announcing to us what you are going to do and generally do what you want. > Experimenting with alcohol and drugs. > * Constant verbal assaults on your mom like “fng b” or “fer” or “stupid” or “whatever.” > > * Leaving the night it snowed and sleeping in a newspaper bin for what you > called your “Urban Experience.” > * Addictive interactions on line whether that be My Space or e-mail which have > included foul language. > > * Loss of money around our home and our feeling the need to lock our > bedroom door as you have gone through the room to find things. Music that > screams and yells > ’that were not approved. > * Habitual lying and responding in ways that seem to make the person asking > the question feel good by giving them what they want to hear. Shoplifting / Theft. > * Believing that the people you work for and corporations owe you whatever > you seem to deem you need or want.With all of this and there is more…I am going to take you to _______________ > for a for a 2 week wilderness trip at a minimum. You and I will be going and > we are going to be leaving in a few minutes.I love you son and this is an option for your healing, perspective and > wholeness, as the way you are choosing and the path that you are going > down is hurting you more than you know emotionally, relationally, and > spiritually.I love you son and I look forward to spending these 2 weeks with you in > ________________ in the wilderness and on the river to gain perspective > and healing for you and our family… >